September 19, 2007

This weekend something really sad happened: A 20 year old guy died on the beach. It rained a lot Thursday and Friday and of course the water washed mud into the ocean. So on Saturday the water was really murky. Apparently the guy dives a lot and he did so on Saturday and never came back up. They searched for his body for 2 days. I walked out of my house to see people gathered in groups talking about it. I then saw people running to the beach. I have never seen anything like it. People were literally running from all over the town to the beach to watch divers search the water. After not finding him on Saturday, divers from Praia came and they found him on Sunday afternoon. People began to yell, sing, and cry. I even teared up at that point because I knew someone´s son had just been found dead (when they found his body someone had to come meet the boat in the water to give them a white sheet to cover the body before the boat could go back to shore). Caheta has over 10,000 people and I think all those people were out on the beach when they brought the body to shore.
In Cape Verde when someone dies the family mourns for seven days. People are expected to go to the family´s house and cook, clean, and help with the preparation of the body (they do not embalm in most cases, and they use different methods and chemicals to prepare the body for the casket). After the 7 days, the family still mourns and for about a month people do everything for the family (cook, clean, etc.). During the 7 days, people come to pay respects to the family at the house. This is called a “visita.” One is expected to go to the visita even if you don´t know the person. It is very disrespectful not to go and everyone will know if you do not go. Some people will stop speaking to entire families if someone did not show up for their family member´s visita. Unless the person was not liked in the community then people do not go and that is acceptable. Anyway, at the house of the family everything is cleaned and all the furniture is covered with white or the brightest and best cloth (none of the furniture can be seen), 2 candles are placed on the shrine-like area, along with religious paraphanelia. The 2 candles must be lit for 24 hours for 7 days. The candles are actually the lights the person will use to find their way to heaven (the family lights the path for the person). Also someone has to be awake every minute of the 7 days. Which usually means that people come and stay at the house at all times of the day and night.
It is customary that the person´s body must come to the house before going to the cemetary. The visita I went to in Matu Sanchu, was of an old man and his body stayed for almost the entire day. When I went to the Visita his body was still there. Since the guy in Calheta was so young and he died in an accident he could only stay at the house for maybe an hour and his body was not there when we got to the house that night. Since he was not in a good state (spiritually) because it was so sudden, he was rushed to the holy ground (cemetary) and buried. The body has to come to the house because if it does not the person can not find the path to get to heaven. The person must enter the house head first and must be carried out feet first. If they are carried out head first then their soul will not move on and will stay in the house.
After all that there are rules for funerals as well. Mothers and Fathers are not allowed to go to the funeral of their children who die. They believe that if the parents go they will bring more death to the family. The parents are also forbidden to wear mourning colors. If an uncle loses a nephew or niece he can not carry the casket of the nephew or niece. Essentially, one can not carry caskets or attend funerals of people who are subordinate (i.e. Grandparent to Grandchild, parent to child, etc.) but the reverse is expected. If one is a widow or widower they have to wear head to toe black. The traditinal cloth around a woman´s head and waist, the man´s socks all have to be completely black and they have to dress in black for 6 months (since tradition is changing some people only do it for 3 months) but I have met people or seen people who do it for the rest of their lives.
The biggest cultural difference for me is the tradition of “wailing.” When I went to the Visita in Matu Sanchu you could here the song-like yelling and crying (wailing) from more than a mile away, and after we go to the house every step to enter the house it was louder and louder. The first time I heard it, my heart was beating out of my chest and you can feel it in your stomach, I almost started crying because you could hear people´s pain and it was loud. At this Visita it was relatively quiet. However, after being there for an hour I got up to leave. I went outside to walk home and there were Hiaces (about 7) full of people. People were coming to pay respect from all over the town. The small house was packed in seconds. People were walking in lines and groups. They were coming from the street, and from behind the house from the mountains. It was amazing to see that much respect being paid to someone so young and he was not even a celebrity; he was a member of the community and that was all that was important. That is when the wailing started, and that was first time that it realy hit me that he was younger than me and all his young friends were coming to say goodbye to him.
I noticed really for the first time how different mourning in America is and mourning here. Here it is out in the open. People wail in the middle of the street and they wear clothing of a mourner without fail. I was telling a neighbor that mourning in America is much more private. People cry but usually it is silent or the volume is very low (she was shocked). I told her that I would never go to a wake of a person I did not know and I hated going to funerals. But that Visitas are very similar to “wakes” in African-American culture. People go to the person´s house and play cards, cry or laugh, and they eat and talk about the good times or memories of the person. She said that was very African to have an almost warm feeling about someone moving on and taking time to remember them by staying up playing cards and talking. She said in general that Americans are more private with emotions. I told her I agreed. People would be shocked (or confused) if someone yelled, cried, and sang loudly for 7 days for the death of someone. She said she had a friend who went to France. Her friend witnessed a person getting hit by a car. The friend screamed and cried. Another woman came up and asked her “Oh did you know that person?” I think in some ways that symbolizes the differences between our different cultures when it comes to death. In Cape Verde, if someone dies you pay repect, even if you don´t necessarily know the person. People know everyone here, so it would not be uncommon in Calheta for 10,000 people to show up at your house if one of your family members died. People are close here in a way that I never experienced in America. Not that either way is right or wrong it´s just different. I think we (americans) are very close to one another and that we care and love each other sometimes without filters or barriers, and sometimes people mourn openly. I also know that the wailing done here is sometimes not always genuine (people sometimes go to visitas to cry away their own problems). But public displays of affection here and in a lot of other cultures is definitely not a private issue: Girls holding each other around the waist, men and men holding hands, etc. it is all very intimate. And it is not uncommon in a town of thousands that you would know everyone, and if not everyone, every family. Sometimes it is beautiful, and sometimes it is annoying. People stare at me, not because I look weird but because I look Cape Verdean and they don´t know me. Once they know my name and that I am American, the staring subsides (a little) and they treat me like a long-lost family member. And that part does feel great!